Top 10 tips for helping students with Grief and Loss
Grief can severely undermine mental health and wellbeing
if left unchecked and if you suspect that a student is struggling, what can you
do? The following summary will provide you with some tips about how you might
approach the situation;
- Awareness: and spotting the signs is the first stage, for example if someone is acting out of character, such as being unusually quiet or not being able to concentrate is often a good indicator something might be wrong albeit they may act as though they are fine.
- Creating Safety: according to Dr Stephen Porges whose work is highlighted in the recent book “Grounded” by Claire Wilson, the one question that is always in the forefront of children’s minds is “Am I safe?” Consequently children (and young adults) need to feel safe, be in a place of safety and trust those people around them before they may open up.
- Re-assurance: having made time and space to create a place of safety, invite the student to stop, chat and perhaps emphasise they’re not in trouble
- Gentle Inquiry: by asking how a student might feel in that moment, creates an opportunity for them to be honest. However, if they say they are fine & their body language suggests otherwise, ask them again, perhaps qualifying it by saying that you have noticed they are not quite as happy as they usually are and you’re wondering why that might be.
- Being empathetic: if a little reticent to speak, perhaps gently suggest that you imagine they may be feeling scared about returning to school, but maybe there is something else that is troubling them and they’d like some help with. If you are aware they may have suffered a loss suggest that as you cannot imagine what they have been through, it would be good to explain how it feels if they can so you can then assist if necessary.
- Stop speaking: to allow them to do speak and explain if they are able.
- Actively Listen: by paying attention to what they are saying and just take in what you hear. If they pause, do not be tempted to jump in unless you are quite sure they have finished speaking. Then it might be good to qualify and check that you have heard correctly before acknowledging what has been said and responding accordingly.
- Support: if you, yourself are unable to offer direct support then it may be good to identify additional assistance and suggest how they may be involved going forward.
- Commitment: once a course of action has been agreed, then it needs to be actioned and take time to help them do this if possible, but it is also important to
- Monitor or check back: as appropriate to ensure that things haven’t gone awry.
Lisa Richards the HearT with EARs
